男人通过征服世界来征服女人，女人通过征服男人来征服世界。

 

    当我体会到这句话的真谛时，我成熟了。

    讨厌的黑色星期一，在自信心备受打击、心情跌落到谷底的同时，运气也变得特别差----开车时书落了一地，摔坏了水杯；推车上台阶时，龙头忽然变沉，用了平日2倍大的力气和5倍的频率，差点把脚拐了；骑车下坡刹车失灵，吓掉了半个魂；买小笼包被醋溅了一身；坐在床上庆幸自己没有摔下来的时候，手机竟然从又细又窄的床缝里掉在了衣柜的背后；在我数落着今天的种种不快时，气急攻心，脸上忽然长了一个又疼又痒的痘痘！

    最严重的是，觉得自己愧对了小肥羊的期望，浪费了小肥羊的血汗。终于发现了原来还有一种心情比悲痛欲绝更让人倍受折磨，那就是----矛盾。不知应该以自责还是乐观的心态去面对他----自责吧？担心他会更难过；用乐观来感染？我也太没良心了点儿。骑虎难下，两面为难。

    象我这样的人，就应该规规矩矩，踏踏实实地做点事，什么投机之类的，和我无缘。亲爱的，我宁愿你不要这样宽容。

 

    回家陪爸爸妈妈看车，忽然发现自己有点肤浅了。原本一直挺欣赏的奥迪A4，第一眼见到实物后，朴实无华的外表让我心里凉了一大截儿，那心情和我第一眼见到凯美瑞至尊版时的激动，简直有如天壤之别----气派的车型、流动的线条、华贵的装饰、鲜为一见的珍珠白，一见钟情式的倾慕。

    原来那个一直在内心极度鄙视宝马，视其为经看不经用的绣花枕头的自己，在潜意识里还有点这样不理智的冲动？而后思之，A4虽然在外形上沿续了传统风格，但是这种简约与稳重，内涵的延续，无论近看还是远观，都有一种逐步升华的喜爱情怀，更何况德系车的技术、动力和安全性在同类中绝对是堪称第一。

    上城的房子竟然要到12月才开盘，又推迟了2个月，显然是开发商想继续抬高房价。或许我可以天真地想，在辉煌的登记热潮的虚假掩饰下，因为目前未达到预售目标而推迟开盘；或许我可以利用这2个月的时间在股市里再翻上一笔，提高首付；或许政府加息、提高首付比例的政策继续明朗化并有所加强，房价会随着热浪的退去而一路下跌……

    不变应万变。

    抱怨无用论：对于自己该承担的责任，再艰辛再坎坷，也应该义无反顾地坚持；至于本不该承担的责任，应该用行动与现实抗争，而不是充当弱者做毫无意义的抱怨。正如，要说一个人是傻瓜，不是骂他是傻瓜，而是要证明他是傻瓜。

 

     JJ昨天问我，是否愿意加入他的亲属大家庭，做他的姐妹。我直接了当地说：不。在我的生活理念里，无论对任何人，任何事，我都不允许自己与其他人有相同的位置。同理，我也不会让不同的人在我心中有着同样的地位。独一无二是对彼此的尊重。

 

     总喜欢装出一幅可怜兮兮受委屈的样子，而提出霸道、无理的要求，为我所不耻。同情与怜悯是发自内心的油然而生，不是乞求来的。我从不否认自己的善良，但是无意义的“怜香惜玉”在我这里绝对毫无市场。

 

     去年今日，在天大开始了我的游泳“生涯”，今晚，GO SWIM！

    香港回归十周年学术会议结束了。短短3天，负责会议代表的接待、接送工作，自然是学到了一些东西，和中心的兄弟姐妹一起分工合作，融洽开心，再次感受到了集体的温暖。发现自己还是对学术不感冒，对各位学者的报告丝毫不感兴趣，多坐会儿就头晕，终究不是那块料。会议期间，大家讨论最多的，就是与会代表中的两大美女博士和两个帅哥。前两位自然是美貌、气质与内涵的结合，后两个偶就不太敢恭维了，不是我的风格。

    据说两年之内都不会再开这样的学术会议了，我们可真是运气，一年两次……

   

     回来，累，勇哥的鼓励和三封邮件让我倍感温暖。

    “It's deeply pity in my heart I am lack of speaking sweet words to my love while I swear I dare to put them in the bottom of my heart.”

 

    经过了五一回校后的“食物中毒”洗礼，这一周开始了全新的生活。嘻嘻，本学期经过了2个多月的潇洒后，终于翻开了新的一页！下学期直面工作，想想，自己过去也没积攒点什么，也一直都没有搞清楚自己的兴趣所在。不是抱怨，是真的该为自己的将来谋划谋划了，庆幸的是，自己有了目标。

    我的CPA目标在考大学之前就已萌发，几年以来一直认为自己学习的是经济学专业，与此  无关，直到现在，才再度发现其重要性。即使自己以后不从事这样的工作，趁着最后学生时代的青春，多学点，多考点，总会有用处的。一口气报了4门，不需要质疑，绝对相信自己！

    连续去图书馆泡了5天，已经慢慢找回了学习的感觉，不过到周末了，还是有点累的。-----又是一个人的夜晚，难得。想来，6个月前的今天，我知道了在遥远的INDIA，有你的存在。QQ、MSN、SKYPE、邮件、短信、电话、我们的广州、成都、深圳、香港……

    对你的思念有几天？无数的日日夜夜，哪怕是一闭眼，也在脑海中花痴地写着你的名字。

    爸爸说要为我们的家起个名字？有点伤脑筋。勇哥胡乱说了几个名儿，没把我气死，竟然还敢嘲笑我的“浣花深处”！

    

    西瓜、椰汁、巴尔扎克与小裁缝、雨后的夜晚。困了，睡觉去。

 

 

    

    勇哥：怎么好长时间不见你写博了？

    小美女：认识了你，我每晚在Q上写博。

    GG回国了，每天见面，虽然不象2月份的悠闲自在，却也是另一份真实。正如GG所说，忙碌让我们没有了过多的言语，但是一个眼神就能说明一切。

　 勇哥说，明年回来时去HK订做戒指，和小美女订婚。昨晚在华强北，故意装作即将结婚的恋人，去逛了巴黎婚纱的展台，把咨询小姐忽悠了一番。对于订婚，结婚的话题，我很敏感，曾经为别人的幸福而羡慕，祝福，当自己面对时欣喜若狂是必然的，难免彷徨与疑惑。我就是这样一个人，在情感上虽身为冲动，一往无前的白羊座，也会因为担心失去而特别的小心翼翼。

    去年大约也是这个时候，我在博客贴了一组V2的婚纱，今年此时，竟然能觉得这已离我不远，真实世界里的梦里人。

    刚接到电话，GG要回来陪我吃饭。对幸福从不敢奢望，但现在，它确实悄悄降临。　

“Although study is of much importance to a student,you should not devoted too much to it---a severe maltreat to yourself.One or two days as recent doesn’t interfere with your normal life,but it will eventully do harm to your health if you keep such action on.As a girl,you must give adequate consideration to countenance,excessive tireness for a long time will lead your skin dull,eyes lack of spirit,in a word ,you will step into decrepitude in a more accelerated speed.It’s not nessesary to care about what other people’s encouragement for you on study,especially my senior alumnus.Just get back to the situation you used to be.”

QF said these to me immediately we met in library after got the information of my absent from dormitory to study this noon.I felt so warm in heart for the critize and worry for me,but it’s not my willing to spend the time in library instead of siesta----I have got so many task to accomplish in the coming week,maybe the busyness will continue to Spring Festival.

I adimit,the enlighten by mentor mao and encouragement senior Y make me more clear of the study objective for a graduate student,but they are definitely not the real factors for my abnormal behavior—more devotion in academic this week.It’s just a result of impersonality.Seriouly,as a graduate,I should not only be diligent in my speciality but also share the burden of mentor ,as a member of the society,I should take responsibility for everything I choose.No matter what difficulty in future,to insist on it is the glorious way to success!

However,it’s essential to turn back to the normal state.At least,I believe myself a girl that always alleviates when packed with busy,the most efficient approach is not involvement,but take a leave from it.

    Influenced by the warm and moist air current as well as the weak cold air,the weather in east of  Southwest district and South of Huai River will be gloomy and rainy for some day.The South of China will fall in rainy day once again,and a strong rainstorm will strike some area,such as the northern part of south China.Acoording to the weather report,the climate in Guangzhou has stepped in a new situation,much different from last week----rainy but cool.After a long period of hotness and  dryness, we  feel the charity of autumn eventully.

    Becouse of the storm,I was absent from class in the afternoon----Research on Finance.The teacher from this time is Profeesor Chen Ping,the department head of  Finance and a big figure in academia.I have heard of the name when I was a undergraduate in NK,because he was a intimate friend of Professor Ma and many students have read of the textbook he wrote.Due to the admire and esteem of Chen,I should take the course seriously.

    Two days ago,I attend the matrimony of sister Hu and her lover,brother Zhou.They are so perfectly matched in every aspect that everyone bless and take envious of the sweet new couple.A old friend of mine just gave me a call and recommend me “the day you walking on the red carpet”,sung by Peng Jiahui,I think its title suits the eudaemonic wedding but not the content.

    Finally,when I was taking bathe this evening,my face was scratched by the nail of thumb carelessly,that is,the talon of pussycat scratched the face of itself.

     The year 2006 is an unfortunate one for me,I have fallen into catarrh three times,each one is difficult to cope with:

     From the start of  NEW YEAR’S DAY,I caught a severe cold,which made me lose voices when I got up to feel the first touch of  the  sunshine in a new start.It lasted for a long period,nearly a month to restore myself to a normal state.

     In the last days of  summer vacation,I got a inflammation suddenly and strangely----I consider overeating of various precessed meat  was responsible for it jokely.

     Recently,my body has got an indispotion,especially the head.I feel many organs is inflaming,such as tonsil,eyes,ears,teeth,and the skins around the body.Because of the health problem,I lose the interest in food,factually,I didn’t know which I prefer,and then go to canteen for dinner becomes an embarrassing thing.

     The rate of recover depends on the  severe extent of sickness,but also gets relation with the patients’mood.To form an optimistic and cheerful attitude in life is an essential factor for health.

   Yesterday is the bachelor's day,which seemed depress but an intresting day.Brother feilong came from shenzhen,invited us for lunch--my favorite djyt,as a present for the special festival.In the afternoon,I came to beijing road for my last hiphop lesson,the lovely teacher added some funny postures and joined the two part of dance together,a sweety photo,a perfect ending.

   

  

　 I am just a simple girl,be accustomed to simple life,simple thought,simple relation with other people,too much complication only leads me to be an idle.

    Recently,something made me become sentimental,I have no method of how to adjust----maybe lying down in the lawn in front of yongfantang to feel the touch of sunshine will alleviate temporarily.

    Two missed calls,a short message,a common supper in dongyuan,taking a walking in the familiar road,chatting in the quite garden,a sweet midnight snack which didn’t taste great----in the time I expected care,little bai came around and accompany with me.My heart was moving by the simple but true affection.

     Every time with little bai,is exactly the time to share the detail of life,every fragment will never disappear in my mind.

     Thanks for the concerning.

 

    I just came back to school by boat from Youth Culture Palace in beijin road for my sixth hiphop class.This time we accomplished the dance ‘baby boy’,actually,we just finished,far away from exquisite.Of course,dance consumes one’s physical strengh,makes one feel tired,especially for a dance like hiphop,which is always with a fast rhythm.But in the past six lessons,I got a high spirit every time,even I was in a bad mood or in a tired situation when on the way for hiphop.

    Then,I speculate the music accompany with dance is the main reason for my relaxation and excitement,as well as the vigorous teacher and those lovely classmates.

    This time I didn’t come back to dormitory directly,and choose library for “study”,because I have got too many task on study to finish these days,even though I prefer do something helpful to improve my ability for work.Despite looking down upon myself,it is essential to learn something theoretical,and to finish homework is a student’s duty,also a esteem to teacher.

     Lately,I do a lot of things continuously,study,work,reception,appointment,swim,dance,in fact,I am lack of sleep in physical.Sprisingly,I’m vigorous not only from heart but also from appearance,just as Xu said:you look vigorous all the time I see you,if you’re in a bad situation,I take your behavior normal,but when you’re in a normal situation,I consider you’re excited out of normal.

     I have never heard such a appreciation of mysely,because I never consider vigorous is a feature belong to me.But more carefully recall of my life,I begin to believe it in some extent.After all,to be vigorous is one’s lucky,it means you’re a optimistic person,have a positive view of the environment,and have got the ability to do the things you prefer.

     Today is October 22th,a month passed,I came across a boy in chunhun.I know the day he appreciates is 21th,but it is on 22th  I got a clear and good impression on him,it was the first time I gave a high appreciation on a boy's behevior from first glance.Though it became history,it's a really beautiful memory in my life,value,it belongs to you forever.

    What a pity,all the things I write in the past one hour disappeared due to the network problem,so I must do the work once again.Every thing of great value will has a hard beginning,I believe.Now comes to my first English diary.

     What is the normal life of a graduate student?Study,do research with professor,entertainment,develop different types of interests,part-time job,devote yourself to public walfare activity,and if possible,share the precious life with your true lover,no matter pleasant or sad.Though it is correct in most people’s eyes,the emphasize on the importance of what we should do is different from people to people.For example,profeeors always tell his students,cultivate and improve the ability of research is most essential in the two years.However, for most students,whose interest and ideal is practical fields,too much input on that is actually of little value,even a waste of time.To these students,devotion to part-time job as early as possible is a smart decision.

     The answer is,we should do what is helpful to our future job,of course,interest also plays a unsubsititution role.This is why I start to write diary in English from today on.Even though I haven’t make sure which field of work I would choose or be proper,I consider English a powerful weapon in future competition.Thanks to it,one will be more competent and more suitable for whatever job he takes.Regardless of all benefits English bring to enterprise,it creates an efficient path for communication in the circurmstance of economic globelization,at least one could get fun from it.Therefore,I would like to make effort to persist writing English diary,record my memeory of life,perhaps in some day,I will receive a great surprise.

 

     Last night,Song told me in the telephone,when went to CNX for supper,a familiar bicycle came to her sight all of a sudden,--the little tattered bike which company me more than there years in nankai university.Her call made my heart a little moving, recalls those days spent with my “intimate friend”,not only the bike itself.But contrast to my former-bike,the current bicycle I bought under kecun crossing bridge a month ago is really a burden for me,and often make me disappoint,I even wish some guy steal it as early as possible.

    Some one says,the lost,the best--I couldn’t agree.Every part of our life is of great value because those belong to us and because we remember them in heart,but everything is in change as well as people in motion,so,the most precious things are those in current.

 

    昨天，彭彭，笨笨，鹏鹏一起过生日，所里的兄弟姐妹欢聚一堂，聊起了星座，21位同学，12星座，就差狮子，呵呵，一个我有些心有余悸的火象星座。

    自己关注星座应该有很长的时间了，曾经还一味地相信星座分析，女生，都八卦啦。确实，接触的一些人中，我和狮子，射手，无论男生女生都挺融洽，火相星座，惺惺相惜。魔羯兢兢业业，水瓶感性深沉，双鱼浪漫多情，白羊冒失率真，金牛踏实厚道，双子机智幽默，巨蟹温柔体贴顾家细心，狮子霸气，处女洁身自好，天枰睿智，天蝎痴情，射手活力花心。

    对巨蟹的男生有特别的好感，因为想到巨蟹，总能想起爸爸，典型的居家好男人，在我看来，应该是绝世好男人。从小到大，接触的几个巨蟹男生，貌似都有着这样的潜质，小石头，哥哥的大学同学，罗主任。正因如此，对冷峻也有了好印象，可现实却让我疑惑了，我不敢妄自猜测对方的内心世界，但仅凭他对我的评价，着实让人失望。我在女生中算是心胸宽广的了，典型的白羊座，对他的言语可以当作玩笑不计较，但客观事实是，他的某些不切实际的论断，误解了一个女孩的好意，曲解了一个女孩的人格与价值取向。

    对一个人的评价，有失偏颇不要紧，可悲的是过早做出了评价的决定。

    有人不懂我，我不介意，因为不懂我的人终究是没有必要懂我的。

    人们都说爱情不等于婚姻，但是我却执着，任性地等待着一份等于婚姻的爱情。

    说出这样的话，不是处于对结婚的向往，婚姻对我来说，的确为时过早，我想，这应该是处于自己现阶段对爱情的排斥吧。从来我都不是一个理想的浪漫主义者，尤其在爱面前，何时我变得如此现实，抑或我一直是潜在的现实？

    我会羡慕拥有甜蜜爱情的男孩女孩，希望有另一个人一同分享快乐，承受生活，希望身边有一颗时刻守护自己的星座，但同时也畏惧爱情，畏惧找不到方向的明天，于是我在向往与害怕之间，选择了逃避，选择了远离。

    诗人说，在爱情面前，我逃避是因为我会为对方担心。是吗？这同时也是一个弱者保护自己的理由。

 

    爱情在何方，我不奢求，只想安安静静地做自己的事，心无杂念。

    最近一周都挺忙，寻文艺新星活动，红十字，游泳，逛街，小港烧烤，校友会，HIPHOP……少给家里打了个电话，又被教育了一番：

    把我们都忘了？

    注意安全，少外出。

    怎么又瘦了？瘦了难看，应该在身上再铺20斤肉。

    你真是不甘寂寞，找那么多事来做，就不怕累着。

    ……

    既然被爸爸妈妈数落成不甘寂寞，哎，说得我很那个……其实是个安分守纪的乖孩子呀，有空也不忘学习的，虽然时间不多。

    晚上师妹从天津来电话，专门告诫我两年时间很短，好好学习专业知识，不要太贪玩，要以每天自习的松鼠为榜样，可恶的师妹，现在就成了管家婆了，以后谁娶了谁受着，哈哈。

    上周末还感觉时间太空，心里难过，现在反而觉得时间不够用，连基本的教材都没好好学，更不用说拓展专业面了，好久没见毛老师了，愧疚。

    堕落了，也挺有些收获：终于搞定了传说中的仁信双皮奶，许留山水果捞，银记肠粉，今天中午HIPHOP前还品尝了太平沙财记牛腩粉；昨天的烧烤也蛮有趣的，某人的“我的新婚之夜，再来一次”颇为经典；和南开的校友一聚，家一样的感觉……

    偶然认识了一位叫冷峻的同学,让我想到了我的偶像魏俊杰——一直以来都很喜欢他的小眼睛，还有和滕丽茗幸福的婚姻。

    最庆幸的是，我的单车竟然还在我身边，有点小得意了。

   

    上了一天的国际经济学,回到了寝室,现在是一个人,独自在和蚊子大战.也不知怎么搞的,灭蚊器加花露水都没什么效果,南方的蚊子果真的名不虚传。

    昨天和师兄师姐，罗园，文征一起给毛老师过了教师节。当老师真是人生的一大乐事，桃李满天下，学生就是自己骄傲。各位师兄师姐都很出色，有点望尘莫及的感觉——漂亮能干的大师姐，文质彬彬的谢师兄，成熟洒脱的周师兄，活泼干练的李师兄，每个人都是我学习的榜样。大师姐下个月就要结婚了，事业有成，又有了好的归宿，真是完美主义。

    和罗园，文征去给买花和水果时，发现他俩真是属于生活一族，超能划价。给水果篮做包装，店员没把纸花做好，罗园还亲自去教她如何把丝带做卷，真是细致，让我叹为观止，这也应该是南方男生和北方男生的区别吧。我能有这两个同门，深感荣幸。

   

   

 

  大学最后回家的火车票，走了，明天起笑迎新的旅程。